Well then.

[leanne]

After having the consultation with the fertility clinic, we've basically come to the following conclusions:

* There's nothing wrong with me as far as we can easily tell, aside from me being older and less-fertile than me-of-25, probably. (Follicle count: 7-8, not the 10 preferred.)

* We don't know if there's anything wrong with Mark, because no tests have been done for him.

* The cost of fertility treatments is completely bugfuck insane, and we'd rather spend that kind of money on a child in need than on a roll of the dice for a pregnancy.

We are probably going to discuss this a bit further over the next few days, but most likely we will be applying to an adoption agency or foster agency within the next 3-6 months, while continuing still to try on our own without further medical assistance. If we are lucky enough to have our own children, great. If we don't have biological children, that's fine. There are many kids out there who need mommies and daddies.

I am currently looking at http://www.angelsfoster.org as a likely starting candidate.

Comments

[kaifu]

Adoption/foster is a totally reasonable option, especially if it's going to cost you an arm and a leg to do fertility treatments.

Good luck with whatever method you end up deciding on for your future kid!

[leanne]

Arm and a leg is right. We were staring down the barrel of $2.5K a month for the most minimal of treatments, or $20K if we skipped straight to in vitro, for one treatment.

Forget it. There are desperately needy kids that need us, and neither of us can justify that kind of expense for a *chance*.

It's cool. It's a little sad-making, but we don't have a zero chance ourselves, and we do have the opportunity to do a great good, as well. (: I am actually kind of excited thinking about it ... our children have suddenly become a wonderful mystery. (:

[eeeeka]

*HUG* I know this must be rough, but the fact that you're trying means you care more than many people do.

Much luck and *more hugs*

[leanne]

Aww, thank you. <3 Actually, it's less rough than I expected. I've never been dead set on having my own, and I've always said that if I proved infertile that I'd adopt. It is a little sad-making, and I'm still kinda stressed out about it, but it's mostly residual from yesterday.

Honestly, the stuff they were talking about doing seemed so invasive that it just felt wrong on a primal level. I can't justify putting my body through that, and paying for the privilege, when there are needy kids out there right now.

*hugs* I hope at some point that I get to bring our little ones to play with yours. (: Which would just be totally awesome.

[syzygis]

(hugs)

I really do need to log in and check more often. I'm sorry things have to be at this stage, but I'm glad you have a path forward.

[leanne]

*hugs back* It's cool. (: Honestly, I am more relieved than anything else. All the pushing about the fertility stuff was starting to make me REALLY uncomfortable, and I am not sure it would have worked for me, given how badly I reacted to just the idea of doing it.

It's all good. The impression that I've been getting all the way around is that there's nothing seriously wrong. So we will just keep trying, but if it doesn't work, that's fine. We had already talked about adopting even if we did have our own, so it's just a shift in timetable. (:

[syzygis]

Yeah, I can see that. If nothing else, the weekly dildo-cam part is not fun; luckily I'm at a practice that's less expensive, with insurance that covers a good chunk (although I think I just hit my lifetime cap for fertility treatments, at least until 2014).

Of course, I'm also approaching this from... well, I think I just posted about that.

[leanne]

*hugs massive hugs* I read your post. Bright blessings and best wishes -- I hope things work out for you two.

I've been approaching this from a different angle than 'most everyone, I guess. I always knew that I was going to wait a long time before having kids, because I really wasn't sure that I was ready for the lifetime commitment that they involve. I knew the risks of waiting, and I thought it was better to wait until I was ready, rather than rush and make a dreadful mistake. So adoption has been on my cards since I was very young, and I've planned for it, and I'm mostly comfortable with it, aside from the "unknown unknowns". (Thank you, Xavier Roberts? Haha.)

*wry grin* I kinda feel very odd-woman-out, but ... well, that's kinda normal for me, I guess. {: I looked at all the hormones and stuff and went "I'm 38 and you're going to overclock my system and force it to ... no. Just no, my body will hate me for the rest of my life, and I *like* my body and I don't want to do that to it." I guess that's just one of those points where every person is different. (:

[syzygis]

Whereas I'm being odd-woman-out in the sense of "hmm, let's conduct science experiments on my body!"

...which, come to think of it, is a slightly twisted way of looking at it. Hmm.

[leanne]

Hehehehe. That is so you! (: